Mallory is a fine young lady from somewhere in Missouri with an enthusiasm for cheese.

“I freakin’ love cheese.” – Mallory

On this website*, you will find incoherent ramblings, information from Mallory’s publisher, what Mallory proclaims to be artwork, stories and a lack of Oxford commas.


“Mallory is a real person.” – Troy

“What even is this website?” – David

“Her body feels like mochi.” – Brendan


*Calling this a website is laughable.


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